Who is JG?

JG has two sides: the truth and the lie. One comes first, the other second. Dear reader, you decide which is which.



JG often finds himself stopped, at flash mobs, in pop-up restaurants, while swimming across the sea or lifting sixty times my weight at the gym—almost anywhere you might imagine, really—and asked, “why am I so drawn to you, JG? What is it that makes you so special?” While the question is fair and just, humility is his calling card. But JG recognizes that his millions of admirers crave a deeper understanding of and connection to him. To sate the interminable thirst, JG offers the following. 

JG is a SOPHISTICATE.  JG has traveled to every continent, learned every language, lived in every city and every town, painted every painting, sung every opera, and starred in every commercial. 

JG is a THINKER.  While drinking his morning coffee, JG performs mathematical computations of staggering complexity for no reason other than to predict the performance of every stock and every commodity. As JG tells his closest admirers, “it’s only gambling if you don’t have the answers.” 

JG is POWERFULLY PERSUASIVE.  When JG speaks, people agree. He is the poise in every pen, the whisper behind the curtain, the blessing of every “yes.” All minds agree that JG is never wrong and always right.   


JG IS BRAVE.  JG sticks up for the dispossessed, no matter the consequence. He’s fought in or abstained from every battle in history and hasn’t lost one yet. 


JG is RESOLUTE.  Once he has found the answer, JG does not waver.  When JG speaks, people know.  


JG is CHARITABLE.  JG knows he owes the world an affirmative obligation to live a long, splendid, and perpetually handsome life.  JG refuses payment that benefits him, and so donates all proceeds to those dermatological and social procedures that maximize the world’s ability to get more JG.


JG lives in a small city. He has a wonderful wife, two fantastic children, and a sweet dog. JG found writing later in life than he would have liked. Hobbies include gardening, lifting weights, and thinking about things. Dislikes include pickles, olives, and humidity.